Bad mom

His girl friend is afraid of me. Really??? just another control device to keep my son away from me.
hurt... I have given so much to this child. it feels like a slap on the face. it feels like she stole him-like her family stole him away from us. but our home is so bad.. and I am a bad mom.

bad for speaking the truth... that he is letting educational opportuniites slip thorugh his fingers while he is obsessed with her.

too bad for me. I am the villian. the bad mom. the monster.

what a lie.

My verse for 2011

Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." This is my verse for 2011. Deut. 31:6

I will not be afraid of grad school.
I will not be afraid of my children's disapproval
I will not be afraid of failing.

My family

I love them to pieces! Maybe the big ones will like me again one day. I am their mom not their friend even though it tears my heart out when they are angry at me. One day.. when they have kids they will understand and see that I wasn't so bad and our family wasn't so bad,either and the girlfriend's family has their own issues even though they feel our home sucks and her house and parents are so perfect. In the meanwhile, I'll keep on giving and loving 110% and pray for better days.

First semester in grad school

just about finished with my first semester at grad school in special education. i have never been so stretched in my life. it is so different than anything I have ever done. it is scary but I am trusting God to help me and see me through. I will get to leave Best Buy after Christmas. YAY!!! i just got hired w/ America Reads as a tutor and as a line therapist with SC Early Autism project. So fun AND so challenging. I love it. Goodbye retail- hello my new life. : )

News

So, Six months later and a few life changes- my son graduated high school (wow! i am old!!! ) that is 2 children down 4 more to go.

I am still substitute teaching and I love it! I found that I really like special ed. i especially enjoy autistic kids! So, I am enrolled to start USC this fall-going for a MAT in special ed-severe and multiple.

So, I HAVE to tell you how this came about... sort of the very short blog version. I knew I wanted to go into special ed-thought that learning disabled would be my field. I had always wondered about working with autistic children. So, one night I just kind of prayed for a job subbing in an autism classroom. The very next day I had one and then again that Friday. TWO jobs in one week. i loved it!!! The children just got into my heart and they are there to stay.

I just applied for a teacher's assistant position in an autism preschool classroom. So, we will see. Not sure about working now-with taking 4 masters level courses starting in August. One thing I have learned over the past year and a half is to take one step at a time.

Take care!

This week

Have you seen "The Princess and the Frog?"Fun movie! Katie said it was boring! so, I was in and out of the movie w/her. : 0

Next week Ryan has auditions for Eastman and All-state. I am nervous for him. The next week, Bill is taking Jonathan up to Boston for auditions at Berklee. Wow! My long haired musician sons!

My Blog

I am really going to try to keep up with blogging this year. it was so fun in the past. I met so many different people and grew to love them. So today is perfect. the day after Christmas and one day before my birthday! I thought i was 47 last year but was really 46, so can I be 46 this year???

With 2010 right up on us I am looking forward to the newness of the year. I am thinking of some goals like:
This year I am going to try to keep believing even when it is hard.
I am going to try to get down to 120 pounds. LOL
I am hoping the goal before this one will NOT be a goal next year!

Take care!