If you would listen, you would hear me say how much I love you.
I remember how I used to rock you and hold you every day for nap time until you started kindergarten. You are my precious daughter.
But now... I don't know. Nothing I say is right. I am forever irritating you with what I say-what I do-who I am.
Am I that bad? Am I the horrible mother you think I am?
What happened? I take you shopping,out to breakfast or lunch-I supported you in you goal of attending SCGSAH and am so happy you got in.
and now... you are leaving...to live there... ands I am
heartbroken.
I just want to hug you and tell you that I love you.
I wish you would just thank me and tell me you love me.
I hate this, I don't deserve your disrespect.
Maybe when you are away you will see the truth.
I love you forever-no matter what.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
If you would listen
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Beautiful- MercyMe
This song is so special to me. In the quiet of my heart I heard these very words being whispered by my God who loves me. God did not make me for the abuse that I have had over my life. He did NOT make anyone for that.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Barlow Girl
Lindsey and I went to see Barlow Girl this Friday night. I was just going for her but I was the one who, I think got the most out of it. These women are the real deal. They are not just singing about God to make money and writing formula songs to be popular on Christian radio. They talked waiting when it seems like God is never going to answer and how that time causes us to set our roots down further so we will be stronger. They talked about not giving up and going for "the more." This spoke right to my heart. It is so hard to wait- to trust-. I want to do the opposite. I want to yell"WHERE ARE YOU and WHY HAVE YOU ALLOWED THIS TO GO ON FOR SO LONG?????"
Maybe healing is a process...maybe somethings in me needs to be fixed before God will change the things that hurt so bad. or give me the courage to instigate the removal of those things. hmm...
I bought a new Bible Study on Monday-"Breaking Free" Excited about doing it. I am doing it by myself. I have the cds. i am loving it. I will stick with it.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Snow and the Sphinx
This is my sons' creation- the snow sphinx. A friend suggested that we submit the picture to the Atlanta High Museum of Art, so we did and won 2 tickets to the museum! lol
However, a couple of days later some vandals made off with the sphinx' head in the middle of the night. okay, so they must of had some tools and a truck because the head weighed about 30 pounds! it is kind of comical. Someone stole our sphinx' head. I hope they are enjoying it!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Bad mom
His girl friend is afraid of me. Really??? just another control device to keep my son away from me.
hurt... I have given so much to this child. it feels like a slap on the face. it feels like she stole him-like her family stole him away from us. but our home is so bad.. and I am a bad mom.
bad for speaking the truth... that he is letting educational opportuniites slip thorugh his fingers while he is obsessed with her.
too bad for me. I am the villian. the bad mom. the monster.
what a lie.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
My verse for 2011
Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down; he won't leave you." This is my verse for 2011. Deut. 31:6
I will not be afraid of grad school.
I will not be afraid of my children's disapproval
I will not be afraid of failing.
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